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. A Sunday Message! Is it what you’ve always do

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A Sunday Message!

Is it what you’ve always done or does it challenge you to have a different behavior 🤔

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📍4 Tips to Control Your Emotions📍

👉🏿Take a deep breath

Give yourself a moment to process what happened

👉🏿Identity your feelings

It’s easy to blame (ex. “I’m mad bc you said this”)but when you dig deeper, you find out the true root. Are you mad bc you think they’re right, did the statement make you sad, or was it not what you wanted to hear?

Getting a friend, family member, or therapist to help you explore those feelings would be very helpful

👉🏿Replace negative thoughts

It’s easy to think about how you’ve been wronged or all the terrible things that have happened but try changing the narrative. Change your thoughts to change your story

👉🏿Channel your energy

You have to do something with the energy you are feeling so instead of using it to complain or retaliate, go for a walk or run

This doesn’t mean NOT to have emotions or you have to HIDE your emotions. Only some tips on how to possibly control your emotions IF you feel that your emotions take over and control you

Example, calling people out their names when you’re upset, doing something spiteful to get back at someone, or causing property damage because you’re upset.

😊Hope this makes sense

. Happy Monday!!!

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Happy Monday!!!

. Thinking that you might be OCD? We have listed s

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Thinking that you might be OCD? We have listed some examples you may have not known to be considered OCD. Click the 🔗 in our bio @blackfemaletherapists to check it out ❤️
_______________________

📍FIND A THERAPIST IN YOUR AREA📍

Click 🔗 in bio @blackfemaletherapists

🖥 www.blackfemaletherapists.com

. Can you guess which celebrity made this comment

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Can you guess which celebrity made this comment about mental health? 🤔

. We all have had some unmet expectations which ma

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We all have had some unmet expectations which may have left us disappointed. Here are some I have heard often:

📍 Everyone should like me📍
When you think that everyone should like you, you end up with hurt feelings when they don’t

📍 People know what I’m trying to say📍
People can’t read your mind so you can’t expect people to understand you just because you’re talking. You have to be clear

📍 People will go out their way for me📍
Just because you are willing to alter your schedule or give your last $50 to help someone, doesn’t mean you get upset when it doesn’t happen in return

📍 I can change this person📍
There’s only one person in this world you can truly change and that’s yourself and even that takes a tremendous amount of effort

📍 Things will make me happy 📍
Too many of us expect a future event (“I’ll be happy when I get that promotion”) to make us happy, instead of looking more deeply into the real causes of our unhappiness

Let me start by saying OF COURSE we can dive deeper into each one of these with different explanations of why someone would do this vs that or being used/manipulated BUT for the sake of this conversation, let’s focus on expectations

When you have expectations about an outcome (especially some that you have not discussed...assuming that someone knows) and get a different result than planned or desired, your expectations go unmet. Unmet expectations lead to disappointment and/or resentment

This is not to say you shouldn’t have expectations (because you should) but try to manage them. For example, instead of getting upset when that friend didn’t call you back like YOU would have, try being open to reactions that don’t fall inline with YOUR own thoughts

Could they be busy? Experiencing their own life issues? Or just simply need a break and don’t want to talk today?

Manage your own expectations so they don’t manage you. Sometimes better communication is all you need

What ways have your expectations hurt business and/or personal relationships 🤔

. Some reasons this happens: 📍To avoid conflic

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Some reasons this happens:

📍To avoid conflict

People can shut down, avoid the situation, or match fire with fire to avoid having to feel or address the strong emotions that come with conflict

📍Don't like to be view negatively

If someone could be viewed as incompetent, unsupportive, negative, or they feel that they might be discredited, they might meet you with defense

📍Feel threatened

Bringing up an issue that someone foresees an unwanted outcome or if they are trying to hide the truth, they may be defensive in their response
➖➖➖➖➖➖

🤔What to do:

👉🏽Is this you?

📍Start being more aware

It first step is becoming aware of your own behavior and being honest with yourself. It's easy not to acknowledge your actions and point the finger but to try to grow and see where you are falling short in the moment.

👉🏽Is this someone you know?

📍Find common ground

Identify something you both can agree on to have a common ground, before trying to problem solve

. 📍 VIRTUAL THERAPIST 📍 Alisha Powell, LCSW

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