Friendships are key parts of our lives as humans coexisting. We tend to predict a person's character or response by closely watching those that are closest to them, especially their best friends. Friendships help to enrich our lives and allows us to grow in many ways. This is why it can become devastating when we cut ties with those we once shared a close bond with as friends. It definitely not the end of the world but it can be challenging to move past it when you've been friends for so long. Let's discuss some ways to cope with the friendship heartbreak, valuing the experience, and moving on.
Acknowledge Your Pain
The first step to dealing with a friendship ending is acknowledging your pain. Going through any breakup whatsoever is an emotional process. Ignoring the hurt doesn't help you process your feelings any faster. In fact, it may hindering your healing. Grief isn't subjected to losing someone we care about alone. It's an emotional acceptance process of the feelings, life, and connection we once had with someone. Interestingly, it also applies to breaking up in friendships and shouldn't be ignored.
Accepting what you feel and how your friend's absence creates a void within you is a part of the healing process. When you acknowledge how you feel and embrace the your feelings, it brings you to a reality that you once had a real and intimate relationship with them. Sharing and talking about the littlest things for hours isn't something you did with a random stranger. So, the thought that all those can be put behind you in one night isn't healthy. Feel your feelings!
Related Blog: "Have You Outgrown Your Friendship"
Try Practicing Self-Care
While it's okay to embrace your pain, hurt, and feel the void, it's not ideal to do that without compassion. Though it may be difficult, neglecting your duties of taking care of "You!", isn't the best option. Take care of you will help you through this process.
Feel your feeling with a lot of self-care. Stick to your regulations day-to-day activities, practice hygiene, body fitness, and most importantly, be gentle with yourself without placing judgement. Try things like creating art, listening to music, taking sometime on the beach, maybe socialize a little, to help yourself during this time.
Refrain From Rumination
Ruminating, that sounds like a fancy psychological word that needs a little breaking down right? Well, it's basically going over memories (good or bad), good times, or moments from your past friendship enough that it affects your present life. Of course, the idea isn't to completely erase or shut off these memories. Though it is easy to do, try to associating your memories of happy times, appreciate the experience, and let them pass.
If you need answers, talk to them and get everything settled out. Understand that an expired friendship doesn't equal beef. If they are open to having a conversation, there's nothing wrong with reaching out for clarity.
Inform Mutual Friends of Your Friendship Status
While you're either trying to give the friendship space or getting over the breakup, ensure you inform your mutual friends. Especially if you both share the same group of friends and are practically seen together always. It's expected that people around you would still ask about your friend or even expect to pass a message across to them through you,
Telling mutual friends of your current friendship status prevents awkward moments between you two. Of course, it'd take a while for everyone to adjust to the recent developments. However, giving your mutual friends a heads up helps them understand changes in planning events. This is a great way to cope or deal with the situation of ending a friendship and avoid unnecessary awkwardness between you two.
Expand Your Circle of Friends
Hanging out with the same group of friends could problematic in your process. Perhaps spending time with your mutual friends individually could help you sustain your friendship with the group for a while, but it could be difficulty maintaining long term. An alternative is to expand your circle of friends. You're lovable! Try meeting new friends!
Make friends with new people that are not directly connected to your ex-best friend. When you try to broaden your social circle, you may meet amazing and fun-to-be-with individuals out there. The truth is there are always people looking to become friends with you. Reach out!
Talk It Out
Talking with someone after a friendship breakup helps you to take a lot of things that you may have been holding on to. Without a doubt, you have so much to say to your ex-best friend but sadly can't because of the current situation. Speaking to a therapist or close relative can help you to pour out the unsaid things you have not been willing to talk about.
This can help you understand where things could have been better and help you become more aware of your actions in future friendships.
Dealing with a friendship breakup is sometimes worse than getting over a relationship. Simply because the majority have friends or best friends as their support system and go-to individuals. With these practical tips, you can take the process one day at a time and find some amazing new friends in the process.